Ok... This is going to be a tad irrelevant... and sort of a conversation, but he started it.... Ok, so maybe I did, but he commented it and I need to respond! Things were said that I must argue. (if by some chance someone is actually reading this other than him... It's a long story involvingan entry 2 entries from this one.... You can just skip to the end...)
Now, with that being said....
You deserve more than you give yourself credit for. Sure, bad thing have happened and you weren't always the greatest person I guess... But... Even without me you seemed to have been on a road of improvement... Kind of... I don't know.
And I have taken nothing from you. You still feel that pain, you still remember... I'm so afraid to pry or ask questions because I don't want bad memories of yours to resurface, but they always seem to with or without my assistance.
And what have I done to deserve someone I believe to be absolutely amazing? What have I done to deserve the right to be as happy as I have been? I've existed. Wow. I'm still the same stubborn selfish person that I was before. I have made little improvement... Other than being happier of course.
And as for this whole potential and choosing something against influence... Or whatever... If that’s the case that gives me potential... Or whatever... I have only made one good choice in my life so far it seems. Saying yes one Friday after school in September. Other than that, the only potential I have had was the potential to destroy my own life. Don't know if that makes any sense...
And it's kind of funny. I'm afraid of you being hurt. You’re afraid of me being hurt because you are hurt. I care about you more than anything, and I'm sorry about that, but there is no changing it now. And... It's also because you have been hurt so much before that I don't want to hurt you and I don't want you getting hurt. You've gone through so much... You've been hurt so many times...... I can't change that, but I want to stop it.
And there is a lot I don't know about you even after 4 months.... Just as there is still a lot you don't know about me...... There really isn't much to say about me though. And what if I said there are a lot of people that have the potential to be a lot better than me?
And you do realize... Although I'm clueless and talentless.... I still want to go to college.... I'll be a college girl someday >_<
ANYWAYS--
On another note... I've been trying to get back to writing again.... it's turning out horrible and i can't get my ideas down right....
I'm actually really bad at writing in first person.... Makes me feel too limited I guess.
First Post
-
I don't really believe in this blogging stuff. But, hey--people tell me
it's fun.
13 years ago
3 comments:
well, I'm feeling lazy so I can sum it up this way:
I love you just the way you are.
you may think I deserve this, or that, but really I don't care what I deserve. I know what I Want. and I've chosen that.
(if I deserve so much, am I at least allowed to have what I choose to have?)
the potential of choice is the potential to do anything. you can destroy life, create it, be humble, be arrogant, build things, create ideas, suppress ideas, destroy yourself.. improve yourself, save the world, break my heart... still, you can do ANYTHING. so what if you've made decisions that you don't like in the past, you can choose to change that at any point in time and make decisions that you do favor.
also, when you're a college girl, then that will make at least 1 college girl that I get along with. honestly, I don't think you'll share the same qualities they have that I dislike, and even if you do, you're still my Kriss. =P
also also, you don't have to write in first person you know.
(it feels a litlle weird to comment on this post, but I will anyways)
all humans are selfish, not just u, they pretty much only think of themselves, even in love. it's how we survive, and there isn't really anything u can do about it. And u shouldn't distract yourself with ur own misgivings, u r who u r. An, would whoever ur bf is really be dating u if he was unsatisfied w/ ur personality? cause that woldn't make very much sense.
and besides all that...
what does it matter in the end? if u both love, u both love each other. that won't change
o, and I'm sorry if i'm butting up, i just wanted to say that
><
Post a Comment