Perhaps it is the voice of my demon inside, but I have come to notice that I seem to destroy everything I touch. As if a person or a school assignment is like a delicate vase, and it just slips through my fingers and shatters on the floor. I'm a failure. I have no future. I'm never enough...
They all deserve better than me, they can find better than me. My mother and father deserve a child that is actually as smart as the believe they are, a child that actually cares about their future and doesn't give up so easily. Sage... He deserves someone who does not constantly upset him... He deserves someone pretty, someone smart... He doesn't deserve my dead weight and ugly face.
They all deserve so much more, and I will never be what they ask of me. I've tried, I've failed, and in the end, I've given up. Even the people who follow my blog probably deserve better, I lose focus, I have no focus, and I'm a horrible writer....
Yet.... I don't want them to have better, I don't want to lose them... And I want people to read my words, even if they are dull and void of brilliance. I want to change...
I want to be worth thier time, but I fear that is an impossible task. I will never be anything.....
~K~
First Post
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I don't really believe in this blogging stuff. But, hey--people tell me
it's fun.
13 years ago
1 comment:
Wow.
Nice writing. I think of that sometimes. If my friends are better of with better. But I know I wouldn't let go, I'll try keep them near. But they never mind, they kind of keep me from the nuthouse. So your always good enough for the people who think you are.
Thanks for commenting on my blog. Grduation project? Ouch, sounds much harder lol.
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